I sense you being in a dark place, this is the bad news. The good news is that you have the key to your imprisonment, the incarceration is self imposed. You are yet forgiven and it is time to forgive yourself.
The stone throwers have been halted and no one no longer can stand to accuse you. You are free. Grace is all you need. Freedom has a cost, it is an experience many want, but can not afford. MY will is that you pay, whatever the cost, for your freedom.
Freedom is the influence and the inheritance of the believer. This is the best witness for an unbelieving world. Show them what you have because of ME. The evidence of a risen Savior is in you. Your dominion is the best discipleship.
Let your walk be a sermon and the blessings that flow from knowing the King of Kings be the gospel personified. Your life of overcoming the overwhelming, will provide a light and legitimacy that mere words could not.
Luke 4:18 -19
The Spirit of the LORD is upon me,
for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free and that the time of the LORD’s favor has come.