Though you have a measure of success, despite the addictions, it pales in comparison to the fullness of what you could and should be. You are not disqualified, the many plans I have for are fully intact. This affliction has prepared you even the more.
The traumatic events are not your fault and not your shame to hold any longer, however the healing, repairing and learning from the traumas is your responsibility. I have trusted you with trouble and the end is for MY Glory.
It is time to focus not on the problem, but on where you want to be. Holding your breath between relapses is not working. I want you to breathe in each aspect of this situation: the emotions, the feelings and the fears.
What will emerge is a survival blueprint and way of escape for many. Be strategic and plan each moment, each day and each season based on what you want. Focus on who you are versus placing energy into what you have done.
1 Corinthians 10:11-13
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the culmination of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.