An offended heart will inevitably make a poor decision and the human heart will inevitably take on offense. As a result, offense is a constant and to be offended is always a potential. Understanding this, what is your plan for avoiding the poor decisions, that are produced, while offended?
To make matters worse, many are not honest enough to acknowledge the state of being made angry, disappointed or disrespected. The admission seems more difficult than the recovery and the recovery is not possible, without admitting the harm done.
Along with the offense comes the shame of losing control or being outwitted in some way. This perceived lack of mental strength or falling prey to a savvy operator deepens the unwillingness to accept the obvious, causing a doubling down or a digging further in on a doomed plan of conveying temperance.
At any point, that you sense losing self-control, recognize that you have been triggered. Accept the fact, that a thing was said, thought or has been believed, that is causing you trauma. A trauma that you can control is power, but a trauma that controls you is a problem.
When the onset of feelings override logic, this is the moment when you should take evasive actions. Make peace with the notion, that your heart and mind are not fully healed in this area or in regards to this person. This mindfulness in you will cause a shift from standing on your heals, in panic mode, to standing on your toes, in your execution mode.
From execution mode, this is where you make your best decisions, where humility, grace and the ability to overlook the offense reside. This is the moment when you take the time to calculate, being strategic, what you truly desired to say or do. The slowing down to allow the impulse (thought) to move from the limbic systems (emotion) and enter the frontal lobe (logic). This will turn the tables on the situation and on the person, to ensure that your goals, hopes and dreams are not undermined, by an irrational decision.
My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and every expression of evil, and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save your souls.