Look to the hills from which your help comes from. It may be dark, impossible and hopeless right now, but the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords is still on the throne. He is still committed to you.
He loves you, appreciates you and trusts you. All that you have experienced is building toward one thing and all of the small, hard things have worked together for your betterment, for HIS purposes.
The race is not over, the final tallies have not been made, the Father is so pleased that you have not quit. You are not an imbecile, you are a son, you are not an embarrassment, your are an heir and you are not a failure, you are MY own.
Own the hopelessness you feel in this moment and squeeze every ounce of understanding out of it. By going through the fire and coming out on the other side, you can stand purified with Christ.
Psalms 121: 1-3
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD,who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.