Offense overtakes like a slow boil. The circumstances get more complicated little by little. Like a frog ready to cook, we do not notice the boiling around us, until it is too late.
According to Dr. Harry Mills, anger is not an emotion that we are born with, rather one that is learned (2005). We learn how to become angry in multiple ways. As children we learn by copying the behavior of people around us. However, dysfunctional your upbringing was and is reflected, in who you are.
[Excerpt from, The Effects of Anger on the Brain and Body by the: National Forum Journal of Counseling & Addiction]
Why is offense an issue?
Unresolved anger, becomes wrath and wrath, then becomes, a foothold for the enemy. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be angry, yet do not sin. Do not let the sun set upon your wrath, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
Anger + Wrath = Foothold
Remember, how subtle offense can be, it has a slow onset and before you know it, you are embroiled in a foothold. Satan now has control, because you have been ensnared. I like you have seen and been a victim, to this common scheme of the evil one.
The only answer is to
– admit it (find it in the Word)
– own your role (be responsible)
– repent (turn around)
– seek forgiveness (restore the relationship) where it can be found.
**How do I, scripturally, handle offense?
1. Psalm 37:8
“Don’t give in to worry or anger; it only leads to trouble.”.
2. Proverbs 29:22
“People with quick tempers cause a lot of quarreling and trouble.”
3. Ecclesiastes 7:9
“Keep your temper under control; it is foolish to harbor a grudge.”
4. Proverbs 15:1
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
5. Proverbs 14:17
“People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.”
6. Matthew 5:22
“But I promise you that if you are angry with someone, you will have to stand trial. If you call someone a fool, you will be taken to court. And if you say that someone is worthless, you will be in danger of the fires of hell.”
7. Ephesians 4:31
“Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort.”
8. 2 Timothy 2:23-25
“But keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. As the Lord’s servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher, who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth.”
9. Proverbs 14:29
“Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.”
10. Romans 12:21
“Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.”
11. James 1:19-20
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
12. Proverbs 16:32
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who takes a city.